Sexual Articulation

The other day Georgia told me of a situation in which it was obvious that an older man, situated in a seat a short distance from her. He was half turned in his chair, staring directly at her, sitting next to his wife rubbing her back sensually with one hand. He had a shit eating grin on his face, looking directly at Georgia. Georgia knew what the guy was thinking, and noticed the guys wife oblivious. If only he could tell his wife what he was thinking, but I speculate each has been taught that such thoughts are unacceptable.

As a couple we can talk to our partner about children, money, career, but somehow sex gets left out of that discussion. Expressing your desires about sex is not easy for some, yet we enter into relationships without discussing our sexual desires. It takes trust, comfort, and time to bandy about such intimate details, but still wedding bells must ring. The initial lift off of primal urges clouds our thinking, emotionally we try to connect with someone, mutely, anticipating there approval or disapproval.

In expressing what we find attractive, especially when we mention other people does not mean we want to orgasm with them, its should be treated as seeing a wonderful work of art or nature to be appreciated. Sexually Georgia and I play together, all our sexual interactions with anyone else includes the both of us. If we play with others we both play together but its not a rule we sat down and made. It has evolved as our desire to make each other happy prohibits us from playing with someone else without including the other.

Five years ago I couldnt imagine myself making that type of statement; it shows what love trust and commitment can do for a relationship.

Flogging 80’s Style

Well really not eighties style I simply enjoy saying the phrase.

We have created a couple of floggers recently, and we are pleasantly surprised that both have stayed assembled after a considerable amount of use.

There are lots of people out there who are more experienced at flogging than we are, simply take a survey of the participants at a kinky convention and the flogging to rope ratio is about 35 to 1. So we are looking forward to learning from others the ins and outs of flogging.

Our two floggers are made from suede and cowhide falls or tails of about 18 inches long, I have heard the recommended to start is longer than 20″. The suede is soft, with a tender impact that is reminiscent of a Turkish massage, it sexy sadistic when thudding against the skin. The suede seems like the best way to learn about flogging since its soft sensual fabric lets us swing a bit firmer and make a loud impressive smack.

The other flogger we made has roughly 18 falls of 18 inches long, its a hard leather that can have a smarter impact on the skin. It is the feared flogger so to speak. The stiff leathery tails of a half inch in width leave a rosy mark on the skin. Each individual tail greets the skin fiery hot, varying the intensity of each swing will have a different effect. The harder it swings the more profound the impact will be, this flogger is becoming our preferred way of elevating a scenes intensity.

To add flogging to our rope work creates a deeper level of trust between us. Honestly the first time flogging I was quite timid, reasonably so, you dont want to hurt your partner. Beginning flogging is an exercise in learning about your subjects limits, how their body reacts to the flogger, listening to and deciphering the vocal emanations takes time. I am learning what gets Georgia going with the flogger, where on her body to apply the impact, how far I can push her, which I am finding out happily, the horizon is quite distant.

In the end its been a great way to enhance the rope play we do, Georgia becomes quite susceptible to suggestion when her arms and legs are confined in rope while she is being spanked. Spinning her around in the air, flogging her unexpectedly is so much fun we have turned it into a fun game, as she has no idea when the impact will happen. Georgia has become quite enamored with the floggers, at times craving more than anything the warm tingling feeling on her firm ass.

We have a couple of other floggers in the works, we are learning what types of leather, lengths, and styles are best. Which in the end adds to the overall health of our relationship, it makes going to the leather store an erotic experience. In the end working together constructing these items gives the toys a special meaning, symbolic of our love for each other.

~Jay

Controlling Desire

There has been a bit written lately about monogamy vs non monogamy, and whether a person can be happy, or is happy. As I was writing a post reflection on my sexual growth over the last twenty years, some of what I read caused me to think a bit more about my previous attitudes about relationships.

When I was younger I thought of sex very simply, not knowing much about the female body, I knew a little more about mine, just rub here and wait five minutes was about the extent of it.  I was blissfully unaware that the all powerful sexual desire would sometimes trump my better judgment.

I think back to why did I get married ? For several reasons I am sure some are familiar with, to please my mom, to have a convenient lay, and to move out of the town I was living at the time. Living in a repressed town with little opportunity causes one to want to move to greener pastures.

I did what my mother expected settling for what was comfortable, what was easy. My ex wife and I lived together for a few years before we got married. Marriage is about control, the church wants to control your life saying this is the only way to have a relationship, happy or not. Society expects you to get married so you will have a life together with someone. I believed the big lie, get married and you will magically live happily ever after.

Maturing through our relationship, my ex wife and I found that our needs were different, that we had diverging wants for “our future”. Instead of reading the writing on the wall we gave it the ol Dr Phil try to make our marriage work. It didnt happen, neither one of us could fulfill what the other wanted.

In my relationship with Georgia we have an electricity between us that keeps charging each day. It takes us to new levels, providing us the spark to keep the love lines open and surging through with energy.

Sex between us has served at times as a way to break through our insecurities, knocking down the walls that are barriers to trust and honesty. As I think now about my growth wondering why I wasn’t aware that such a level of comfort and happiness could be attained.

Getting past expectations and taking risks in life leads to many new discoveries, treasures waiting to be enjoyed and shared are hidden out there. Just because the trail your on now seems comfortable or safe, doesn’t mean its the only path to choose.

Jay

A Love River

Relationships are like rivers, never stopping, sometimes they flow fast, raging forward, causing changes to the the surrounding landscape. At other times, rivers are calm, slow, flowing easily, almost stopping in time, allowing the wildlife to enjoy the bounty of the water.

The relationship with our significant other is much the same way. Realizing that your love flows around, over, and through obstacles that are tossed in your current.

When something falls into that current, it does not cause the water to stop flowing. It floats momentarily before settling to the bottom, or causes the water to froth and flow around it. In the split second of time before settling to the bottom is the moment to realize that its only for a moment. No matter the size of the object thrown in the water, it cannot stop the love that flows between two people.

Jay